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To be a mother
I never realized how many of my friends are mothers. I guess the same epiphany will come upon me June 15th as well. I thought I was ok. Even after the dream I thought I was ok. But so many friends know I was pregnant. So many know I was due last month. So many have called me, texted me, seen me. And told me they can feel the sadness in me. I mean I ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I have learned one thing about myself, and that is - do not bother me on break. because what will happen next is I'll start to make myself very scarce when that time comes. VERY scarce. To come into the break room on 3 separate occasions during my little half hour break, and ask me to do something 'when I get the chance' is the same as telling me ' ( Read more... ) -
Nightmares and Dreamscapes
my dreams lately. jeez these dreams. they've been talking to me. my subconscious has been exceptionally active. I've been carrying extra weight on my mind & in my heart and the brain is NOT happy.
I took care of one 'problem' that had been plaguing me. I finally spoke with him regarding an issue that, from what I can tell, has only been directed at ( Read more... ) -
...know what I'm really tired of? people that don't know enough about me having an opinion on what I should be doing, shouldn't be doing, with or without whoever I want, because of what SOMEONE ELSE's opinion is of how I should be, and who I should be doing things for. Why am I being told that I need to be putting other people before myself? still ( Read more... ) -
Coincidentals
There are 8 people close to me. I talk to each at least once a week. 4 males. 4 females. The females have names all ending in the letter a. The males have names all ending in the letter n. Two of the females and two of the males have names that are identical.
I don't know what to make of my circle. But I love them all. In different ways. ( Read more... ) -
I really want to hit the lotto. Not just to erase my mom's (and mine) debt and set some friends up. But because I want to drive. Day or night, rain or shine. I am most comfortable and MOST at peace when I drive.
Nothing else matters. My life comes into focus and I make my best decisions when I'm cruising. I think that's why I love driving to JAX & ( Read more... ) -
Rewards
I'm a firm believer in karma, I always have been. And it may be slow in giving back what you put out, but it always gives it back. Finally, for all of the work she has put in, for me and for the less thankful, mommy has caught a break. No more Macy's. Fuck Macy's. They got their two weeks' notice. Mom scored a real job. Using nothing but her ( Read more... ) -
Medicate
Sometimes it's just the best thing for the soul. Helps to dull the mind. And other troublesome things
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Loss
Ever had that just....profound sense of loss? Like a driving piece of you is gone and it is just never coming back?
That was my night. Looks like my day.
When you are alone, no one can see the tears.